Raising Self-Esteem & Improving Communication Skills . . .

While working in a correctional centre in 1972, I was assigned three inmates to counsel. Having had no training, experience or even inclination in that pursuit, I was at somewhat of a loss as to how to go about it. Instinctively, I asked them what life was like when they were boys. I was astonished when each of them told a variation of my story – a sense of abandonment, lack of direction, haunting loneliness, burning resentments, and a dependence on alcohol to deal with life’s problems.

That event led to a change in attitude towards inmates, set in motion the steps I would take to put my life in order, and sent me back to school to learn the skills I would need to truly become a counsellor. I went on to become a Charter Member of the British Columbia Association of Clinical Counsellors and have had the opportunity to help many people deal with the crises in their lives.

A common thread became apparent, regardless of the type of counselling that I was doing. Low self-esteem, lack of confidence and poor communication skills seemed to be the common denominator. Now retired from counselling, I now depend on my speaking skills and my writing abilities to continue to reach out to others.

It is to that end that this website is dedicated.

“The quality of our life is determined by how effectively we learn to communicate – with others, with ourselves and with the God of our understanding.”

~ Haddy Abra

15 responses for Raising Self-Esteem & Improving Communication Skills . . .

  1. Donna W. says:

    How very fortunate I am to have you as a dear friend. You kindness, caring and acceptance without judgement is invaluable to me. it is a very rare, but extremely essential quality much needed in our world today. You are always there and fully present and supportive of anyone who is fortunate enough to reach out to you.

  2. Christine says:

    You are one of the most amazing people I have ever met. I’m so blessed to have you in my life and to have you as a mentor and friend. I’m so excited to follow you on this blog!

  3. Carrie Kerr says:

    You have always been an inspiration to me Haddy and honestly I was intimidated by you for a very long time, I too have faced the challenges you mention, low self esteem etc. and I did not believe that I was worthy of people such as yourself in my life, today, I have courage and confidence I had never experienced before and that is a result of doing the inner work necessary to connect my spirit to the energy within us all, to finally become somewhat settled and at piece within myself so that I may connect with others the way I believe was always intended. Thank you so very much for being on this journey called life with me to help me along the way.

    • Happy Haddy says:

      Thank you Carrie.I kept my head low for many years, never feeling good enough. Blessed, and sometimes cursed, with a high IQ, I tried to outsmart people to make them look even dumber than I judged them to be. I managed some twisted sense of achievement by this means but I turned out to be the dumb one in the end. I finally learned to accept people for who they are. Some of my greatest lessons have come from those who others have written off. Each of us is unique and we all have specific lessons to learn in life. All I have to do is stay focused on doing my best in my life. I have no need to feel better or worse than anyone else.

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  5. Cathy says:

    My dear friend,
    So nice to read your blog and the various comments. I notice with myself that when I am not feeling UP I so not tend to access such sites as yours nor others I would normally frequent; part of my isolation I guess.
    Such a learning journey this life! Add to it the joy of being a woman and the addition of our hormones and it sure makes for an interesting world to live in.

    Blessings to you and all who read these.

    • Happy Haddy says:

      Hi Cathy. The greatest compliment I received during my counselling career was that I understand women. I am not sure that it is possible for any man to do that but I try. Women have taught me a great deal over the years. I am glad to have you along and hope that I continue to inspire you.

  6. Shantelle says:

    I am so happy I took the time this morning to read your beautiful thoughts and hear your amazing stories on tribulation and perserverance. I am blessed to know you. Your life experiences, as tough as they were, have and will touch the lives of others. Your words have lighted my life. Thank you for your openess and willingness to be vulnerable in your testimony. You help remind me that happiness is acheivable and lasting day by day, one step at a time.

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  8. rtw88 says:

    Your writing today reminded of a recent pearl whereby someone asked “God – Let me see others through your eyes” and immediately thereafter everyone he met the looked beautiful! Have a good day Haddy.

    • Happy Haddy says:

      If we look for the ugliness in others and things that set us apart, we will certainly find them. By looking past that, at the marvel that exists in all of us, we will be blessed with great beauty.

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