Self-esteem issues are often more apparent than you think.
When you make your selection on a pop machine and press the button, what do you expect to get? Bang away on those buttons as long as you like but you will not get a candy bar, a bag of chips or a pack of cigarettes. All the machine can dispense is what has already been loaded into it – pop.
What comes out of you when someone pushes your buttons? If you respond to someone with anger, frustration or some other negative emotion, is it alright to blame the person who stirred you up or is it because you are already loaded with those feelings??
There is much to be learned from such a situation.
Most people have issues that are their hot buttons. Think of your friends and family members, think about yourself. Some people are very predictable in how they will respond to certain issues. Some people enjoy manipulating them by deliberately pushing those buttons.
When we allow this to continue, we are allowing others to control how we feel. Our feelings are very important as they are our immediate reality, the way we view and react to life at that moment in time. I used to have a number of buttons that would send me into a rage but no longer.
Blaming others for how we feel has victim written all over it. It is very much a flag of low self-esteem. It allows others to continue to run your life for you – others who are unlikely to have your best interests in mind.
To eliminate these hot buttons, you must take responsibility for them. They are yours, and yours alone.. Examine them one by one. What is it about them that bothers you so much? Do they bring up feelings of guilt, shame, inadequacy, or resentments? Then that is where you must go.
Some of these issues might be very old and are best forgotten – hanging on to the negativity of the past is a sure recipe for an unhappy future. Forgiveness is often the answer here, including forgiving yourself.
I will be writing much more on this issue.